God is my only goal.

I had the best day EVER today, as in ever and ever and ever.Best Day Ever.

Happiest Day of My Life.

Happy Girl.

This morning, however, was a whole different story. You can read below, and catch a glimpse. Actually, the last few days have been a place of futility and frustration. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but TODAY – oh TODAY – a black cloud hung over me, and I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me. Doom & Gloom. Then it hit me suddenly: today is the start day of my packing job in the factory.

I actually felt like I was being sent to the death chamber.

I have worked in this place for the last 6 holiday seasons, in the packing department. Every year I say the same thing: THIS IS MY LAST YEAR!! But then every year I go back. Always saying the same thing: i need the money.

This year, I intentionally missed the re-hire dates and felt GREAT about it, but then they called me, begging me to come back, and I said “yes”, and then I promptly forget about it, until this week.

So, today I was feeling a blackness cover me, feeling like the next 8 weeks (leading up to Christmas, when the packing season ends) will be HELL. This place is loud and dirty and the work is really hard. I wreck my hands every single year with the packing tape. It literally takes the skin off my fingers. Then there is driving 30 minutes each way, to and from the job, AT NIGHT, IN THE DARK, WHEN IT’S COLD, AND WHEN THE ROADS START TO GET ICY AND SLIPPERY. I get home at midnight.

So, I quit, with a little prompting from Max.

He was listening to me bitch and he said: why don’t you quit?

it was like a light went off in my head. IT HAD NOT OCCURRED TO ME THAT I COULD QUIT.

I just sat there stunned.

and then a feeling of happiness started to wash over me. I felt alive and free. I felt the black cloud actually lift and disappear. What in the heck?

Oh my God. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy in my life.

So, I called and I quit. Just like that. They didn’t even care. The person on the phone said: oh, we are so sorry to hear it. Well, thank you for calling.

as if it wasn’t a big deal at all!

And then, as these things go, I opened A Course in Miracles and wouldn’t you know??? It lands on Lesson 157: Into His Presence would I enter now.

“This is a day of silence and of trust. It is a special time of promise in your calendar of days. It is a time Heaven has set apart to shine upon, and cast a timeless light upon this day, when echoes of eternity are heard. This day is holy, for it ushers in a new experience (I’LL SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!); a different kind of feeling and awareness (SEE ABOVE PICTURE!!!!!) You have spent long days and nights in celebrating death. Today you learn to feel the joy of life.

This is EXACTLY what happened. I actually “felt” the joy of life.

It says here in Lesson 157: “this is another crucial turning point in the curriculum. We add a new dimension now, a fresh experience that sheds a light on all that we have learned already, and prepares us for what have yet to learn. It brings us closer to the door where learning ceases, and we catch a glimpse of what lies past the highest reaches it can possibly attain. It leaves us here an instant, and we go beyond it, sure of our direction and our only goal.”

SURE OF OUR DIRECTION AND OUR ONLY GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See? That’s it. I want God to be my only goal. I don’t want to be distracted or sidetracked. All I want is to be the total expression of God on earth. To be a minister. To extend the light I feel. To inspire people. To bring hope. To offer a new way of looking, a different way of thinking. THIS IS WHAT I WANT MY JOB TO BE!!! i really want to be the light of the world, 100% of the time. I want to be the Love of God, AS MY JOB. Maybe this doesn’t make sense to anyone at all – because of course the question arises, how in the heck will you pay your bills?? – but all I want is to teach A Course in Miracles.

not part time, but full time. That’s what I want as a job.

Listen to this: “from this day forth, your ministry takes on a genuine devotion, and a glow that travels from your fingertips to those you touch, and blesses those you look upon. A vision reaches everyone you meet, and everyone you think of, or who thinks of you. For your experience today will so transform your mind that it becomes the holy Thoughts of God.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God. I love it.

“Your body will be sanctified today, its only purpose being now to bring the vision of what you experience this day to light the world”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God. If anyone had any idea how happy I am right now, today, this minute … wow. I’ve known “happy” before, but never like this.

This feeling goes beyond anything I’ve ever known.

“As this experience increases and all goals but this become of little worth (YES! YES! YES!), the world to which you will return becomes a little closer to the end of time; a little more like Heaven in its ways; a little nearer its deliverance.”

“And you who bring it light will come to see the light more sure (YES!); the vision more distinct.

God is my only goal. Into His Presence would I enter now.