I didn’t have any internet service all day yesterday!!ha. i was laughing, because I felt like my life was disrupted in my quitting and by not having internet, it was like being forced not to “reorganize” back to my old way of living.
I keep getting instruction to stay close to Jesus, to stay in constant communication and prayer.
It says here in Chapter 31 of A Course in Miracles:
“There will be some confusion every time there is a shift, but be you thankful that the learning of the world is loosening its grasp upon your mind. And be you sure and happy in the confidence that it will go at last, and leave your mind at peace.”
That’s what I felt like yesterday, like, Oh God, what have I done?
But I keep feeling this total peace wash over me.
I was totally happy, like giddy.
I was looking at the idea of the “collapse of time” and the whole idea of even time moving. It’s really mind-boggling to me. Have you ever thought about it? That you are moving through space and time?
It’s the wackiest idea ever.
I was thinking how I already had ideas in my mind that I would work the factory job till Christmas, and then January would signify a new beginning for me when I would begin to focus on teaching A Course in Miracles. I had an idea that January would be the starting point when I begin being a full-time minister of God, inspiring people, getting people excited about God, and doing only that.
So … here’s the fun part. If the idea already exists in my mind as a possibility, then it totally is available to me now, right?
Can you see what I am saying? Why wait 8 weeks of doing work that makes me unhappy, if I know that in January I will be doing work that I love. Why not just snip out the 8 weeks and let it be January now????
isn’t that amazing? It’s January now for me. I just cut 8 weeks out of my life. I skipped right over it. And I don’t have bloody fingertips, destroyed by packing tape! What a miracle!
I love it. Can you see what this saying?
i remember Greta telling me years ago when the first laptop computers started to be available in the 80’s, and a friend of her got one, and everyone around this friend was jealous that she was able to afford one, but Greta wasn’t jealous, BUT WILDLY EXCITED, because if it was possible for her friend to get a new laptop computer, then suddenly it was totally possible for Greta to get one too!
Rather than be jealous, she was excited.
You see? If a possibility exists in your mind ABOUT ANYTHING, then it is totally possible for you to manifest it in your own life.
So, if I could already see my life in January, then it’s totally possible for me to live that life today. That’s why the miracle doesn’t take any time.
You can actually throw yourself into the future – 6 months, a year, 10 years – and go to that point today. That’s true teleportation.
Look at where you are in the future. See yourself. What are you doing?
For me, my goal is God.
My goal is to eventually let go of everything in this world, and usher in a new world by showing people how to think differently, inspiring people.
So, if this already exists as a possibility in my mind then it’s totally possible for me … now.
if I can think it in my mind, i can do it.
If I already imagine a world of peace, then it’s already accomplished.
If I can already imagine a place where I am perfectly happy and safe and free, then it’s already accomplished.
I may not be specifically aware of the means to accomplish that goal, but i can stand at the end point where the goal has been accomplished.
and then bits of time get snipped out. The means are given.
I hope this makes sense. This is where you see that time is not sequential.
Go to your goal. Go to the place where you are living perfectly the life you want to be living – where you have no problems, where you are happy, where you are doing what you love. Go there today. Stand in that place where your goal has been accomplished. Most people have never even entertained the idea of WHAT DO I WANT? and that’s the real reason they seem to wander along aimlessly, because they have no idea of their goal and no idea where they are going.
What do you want?
Yes!
Gorgeous for God is now available on Amazon.com!
All you have to do is click on the book:
I had the best day EVER today, as in ever and ever and ever.Best Day Ever.
Happiest Day of My Life.
Happy Girl.
This morning, however, was a whole different story. You can read below, and catch a glimpse. Actually, the last few days have been a place of futility and frustration. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but TODAY – oh TODAY – a black cloud hung over me, and I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me. Doom & Gloom. Then it hit me suddenly: today is the start day of my packing job in the factory.
I actually felt like I was being sent to the death chamber.
I have worked in this place for the last 6 holiday seasons, in the packing department. Every year I say the same thing: THIS IS MY LAST YEAR!! But then every year I go back. Always saying the same thing: i need the money.
This year, I intentionally missed the re-hire dates and felt GREAT about it, but then they called me, begging me to come back, and I said “yes”, and then I promptly forget about it, until this week.
So, today I was feeling a blackness cover me, feeling like the next 8 weeks (leading up to Christmas, when the packing season ends) will be HELL. This place is loud and dirty and the work is really hard. I wreck my hands every single year with the packing tape. It literally takes the skin off my fingers. Then there is driving 30 minutes each way, to and from the job, AT NIGHT, IN THE DARK, WHEN IT’S COLD, AND WHEN THE ROADS START TO GET ICY AND SLIPPERY. I get home at midnight.
So, I quit, with a little prompting from Max.
He was listening to me bitch and he said: why don’t you quit?
it was like a light went off in my head. IT HAD NOT OCCURRED TO ME THAT I COULD QUIT.
I just sat there stunned.
and then a feeling of happiness started to wash over me. I felt alive and free. I felt the black cloud actually lift and disappear. What in the heck?
Oh my God. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy in my life.
So, I called and I quit. Just like that. They didn’t even care. The person on the phone said: oh, we are so sorry to hear it. Well, thank you for calling.
as if it wasn’t a big deal at all!
And then, as these things go, I opened A Course in Miracles and wouldn’t you know??? It lands on Lesson 157: Into His Presence would I enter now.
“This is a day of silence and of trust. It is a special time of promise in your calendar of days. It is a time Heaven has set apart to shine upon, and cast a timeless light upon this day, when echoes of eternity are heard. This day is holy, for it ushers in a new experience (I’LL SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!); a different kind of feeling and awareness (SEE ABOVE PICTURE!!!!!) You have spent long days and nights in celebrating death. Today you learn to feel the joy of life.
This is EXACTLY what happened. I actually “felt” the joy of life.
It says here in Lesson 157: “this is another crucial turning point in the curriculum. We add a new dimension now, a fresh experience that sheds a light on all that we have learned already, and prepares us for what have yet to learn. It brings us closer to the door where learning ceases, and we catch a glimpse of what lies past the highest reaches it can possibly attain. It leaves us here an instant, and we go beyond it, sure of our direction and our only goal.”
SURE OF OUR DIRECTION AND OUR ONLY GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See? That’s it. I want God to be my only goal. I don’t want to be distracted or sidetracked. All I want is to be the total expression of God on earth. To be a minister. To extend the light I feel. To inspire people. To bring hope. To offer a new way of looking, a different way of thinking. THIS IS WHAT I WANT MY JOB TO BE!!! i really want to be the light of the world, 100% of the time. I want to be the Love of God, AS MY JOB. Maybe this doesn’t make sense to anyone at all – because of course the question arises, how in the heck will you pay your bills?? – but all I want is to teach A Course in Miracles.
not part time, but full time. That’s what I want as a job.
Listen to this: “from this day forth, your ministry takes on a genuine devotion, and a glow that travels from your fingertips to those you touch, and blesses those you look upon. A vision reaches everyone you meet, and everyone you think of, or who thinks of you. For your experience today will so transform your mind that it becomes the holy Thoughts of God.”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my God. I love it.
“Your body will be sanctified today, its only purpose being now to bring the vision of what you experience this day to light the world”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my God. If anyone had any idea how happy I am right now, today, this minute … wow. I’ve known “happy” before, but never like this.
This feeling goes beyond anything I’ve ever known.
“As this experience increases and all goals but this become of little worth (YES! YES! YES!), the world to which you will return becomes a little closer to the end of time; a little more like Heaven in its ways; a little nearer its deliverance.”
“And you who bring it light will come to see the light more sure (YES!); the vision more distinct.
God is my only goal. Into His Presence would I enter now.
I gave a 12-step AA talk yesterday on the internet, and the topic was “giving and receiving.”I decided to focus on Step 12:
Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
One of the things I love best about blogging and teaching is that often *I* hear the message. It’s an amazing thing. I think I am giving to others, and sharing my experience, but then I HEAR what I am saying, and it’s a zinger moment. It’s so cool. I am only giving to myself.
The reason I talked about Step 12 is because it’s the place where the healing really began to occur for me … IN GIVING TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Up until that point, I was trying to solve my own problems, wallowing in my own pathetic story, trying to make life better for myself by my own attempts (dieting, pouring vodka down the sink, trying to improve my body, or to improve my life by reading more books)
But Step 12 basically asks you to “get over yourself” and start extending yourself. It asks you to start being helpful.
As I started to include other people into my life, I realized I didn’t have a desire to act out my addictions anymore. I felt satisfied and loved, and I was no longer looking for ways to sedate or “feel better.”
A sense of completeness began to envelop me.
I have read in A Course in Miracles (like 500 times) that I have only one problem and it is separation. I have read this, thought about, and accepted it as truth … but without ever really making it personal to me, until yesterday.
So yesterday I was giving the talk on the internet, telling my AA story, and I was talking about my own self-imposed isolation and it hit me like a ton of bricks that ISOLATION was the problem. The drinking was just the symptom. The isolation was my core main problem.
I was talking about all my failed attempts to stop drinking. I went from ages 27 to 31 trying to quit drinking. That’s 4 years of praying and crying and dumping vodka down the sink, only to land in the liquor store one week later, and then the whole cycle would start again. I don’t think I ever finished a whole bottle of vodka in those four years. Usually I would drink half the bottle, and then in frustration would dump the rest down the sink. This went on for four years. It never occurred to me to go to AA. I figured since I was so successful in other areas of my life, that quitting alcohol would be easy, that it would just be a matter of “will-power”.
Well … not.
Finally, the way I quit is that Endeavor Academy has a rule: no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no meat.
So I quit cold turkey back in March 2001.
But here’s the thing: alcohol was only a SYMPTOM of a much deeper problem. If you cure the symptom without curing the real cause of the problem, other symptoms will show up.
You most likely already know this is true, and can point to several areas in your life where you see this is a fact.
You know the old analogy: you put out one fire, and another fire blazes up in a different location. Same problem, different location.
So for me, I transferred my alcohol additions to food, craziness in my relationships and just general insanity all around.
Finally, after much thrashing, I joined the fellowship of AA. I was restored to sanity. What the AA program taught me is that you can’t do this alone. You need to admit you have a problem, that you are powerless, that God can help you if you let him, and you have to tell another human being all your shortcomings, and pretty much your life story.
YOU HAVE TO TELL ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!
I balked when I got to this step. I didn’t want to be telling anyone about my problems! I wanted everyone to think I was perfect! I didn’t want to be airing dirty laundry!
I wanted to be sane and happy, and to not be an addict anymore, and to not act out with food or alcohol and crazy relationships … and at that point in my life, I was willing to go to any length (including talking to another human being) if it offered me the hope of healing.
So, I was telling my story yesterday, and the revelation of THE ACTUAL CAUSE OF MY PROBLEM (that led me to drink and overeat) hit me like a lightbulb: ISOLATION.
We, as addicts, love to shut everyone out. We love to isolate ourselves, and erect a wall where we think we are protected from getting hurt.
ISOLATION IS THE PROBLEM.
DRINKING IS THE SYMPTOM.
I said it, then I heard it. It was a good moment for me. For the first time, I “got” what it means that separation is our only problem. I actually made it personal and understood finally what it means.
The thought that I am all alone in the world is what caused me to drink.
Oh my God. How amazing.
And that’s why telling one other human being is so important in this program. It is the first step in opening yourself up to other people, which for so long you have resisted.
Think about it. It’s easy to tell God your problems.
But try sitting someone down – a real breathing human being – who is sitting there watching you and giving you all their attention, and try asking them for help. It’s a whole other story.
I used to hate asking for help. I would have rather died than admit I had a problem.
But finally, in that total moment of desperation, you will do anything.
For me, I finally had to admit that I was indeed powerless, and that I could NOT solve my problem.
I woke up this morning thinking that EVERYTHING in this world is a symptom, and that the real problem really is separation and isolation. Every form of sickness is a symptom. It’s not the real problem. It’s just a symptom of a much deeper problem.
You can try to cure the symptom, but unless you go into your own thought system – AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE – and heal the real problem – SEPARATION & ISOLATION – you will only find more symptoms appear.
You have to go straight to the source of the cause of all your problems. This is where real healing occurs.
This will be the end of all doctors and all medicine, when people realize the cause of all their problems is in their minds, in their thoughts.
The great thing about this is that you can do something about it TODAY. You can go into your thought system – TODAY, NOW – and start changing your mind.
It says in A Course in Miracles that the reason you get sick is because you don’t value yourself. Isn’t that amazing? You get sick because you think of yourself as unworthy and unlovable. But when you start to change your mind, and realize that “God’s value of you can heal you” … then all those bodily symptoms of sickness will automatically disappear.
Because finally, you have located the real source of the problem: separation and isolation.
What’s the solution? Let the wall come down. Stop shutting people out. Start inviting them in. Become more available. Open your heart. Start asking for help. Give, and then give some more. Start realizing you are worthy and lovable.
Heal your problem of separation and all your other symptoms will disappear.
I love you.
You MUST read Lily’s blog today. OMG. It made me cry.Angel in the Postal Service-Lily’s Blog.Click Here to Read.
I spent an hour yesterday with Anita yesterday and she is … OH MY GOD.I am so in love with her, it’s crazy. She’s the whole package. I mean, wow. She’s interesting and funny and smart and beautiful and charming and witty and sexy and generous, and oh my god.
You should see this girl. She is amazing.
The funny part is that she used to totally get on my nerves. I mean, TOTALLY. And that’s how I know the miracle is happening, and how it’s always happening … are you ready?? …. IN MY OWN MIND.
Anita didn’t change … she is exactly as she always was … I CHANGED.
She used to correct me about everything. It was so annoying. You have no idea. I felt I could do nothing right. This was years ago. But when I stopped to look at the larger picture, I realized that lots of people used to correct me. All the time. It felt like constant judgment and constant correction coming from other people, in practically every situation.
Now I know that’s only the confusion in my own mind.
When you become certain and joyful about what you are doing here on PLANET EARTH everyone else becomes certain and joyful around you.
As I began to take TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY for everything that was occuring in my life, and not blame anyone, then the picture started to changed. My world started to change.
Have a function for God and you will be happy.
The GREAT CLEAN-UP begins in you. When someone is attacking you, just look in your own mind, get out the Windex spray called TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY and clean out the mold contained there in your thoughts.
If someone is annoying you, YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, not them. They don’t need to do anything because they are already not doing anything. They are phantom figures. You’ve have assigned to them a role to play … in which THEY are the attackers and YOU are the innocent angel and the victim.
Finally, that game gets really old, really fast.
The easiest way I know to change the scenery is to love everything the way God loves, and make no distinctions. Open your heart, and let love pour through you.
THROUGH YOU.
Let love extend from you to other people.
Extend it. Be helpful. Give. Love. Forgive.
Have a willingness to see everything and everyone differently.
You can begin today.
Anita and I were talking about The Responsibility for Sight in Chapter 21 in A Course in Miracles. She says she’s gonna read it every day, and I think it’s a splendid idea. I’m gonna read it every day too, as a constant reminder to be responsible for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Maybe you would like to join us, and begin to read it too. If you don’t already own A Course in Miracles, you can click the Amazon button over there to the left and purchase it. You will love it.
Here is a little bit for you, from that section:
“This is the only thing that you need do for vision, happiness, release from pain and the complete escape from sin, all to be given you. Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies:
I am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.
“Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.”
******It is impossible that you be merely driven by events outside of you. It is impossible that things that are happening to you were not your own choice. Your power of decision is the determiner of every situation in which you seem to find yourself by chance or accident.
A Course in Miracles is so awesome. You see? It’s not just about God. In fact, the majority of this book is about MIND TRAINING, about watching your thoughts, seeing what you are thinking, being conscious, and training yourself to see and think differently. To begin to know the way your own mind works, and to choose again if situations that upset you.
This is the reason why the miracle doesn’t take any time, because you can change your mind in this very second now, and everything will be looked upon differently. You will see it in a new light. That’s the miracle. A change of mind.
I love it.
