Above all else I want to see things differently
Yesterday, while sitting in church, I saw an old situation (that has been plaguing me for years) differently.
I couldn’t believe it. I actually began to see things differently. I had been repeating yesterday’s lesson all morning:
Above all else I want to see.
Above all else I want to see.
Above all else I want to see.
Above all else I want to see.
And then all of a sudden I had a thought: be a little child.
and another thought: The Joy Diet.
and then another thought: be happy.
This might seem like thoughts of zero consequence, but to me they were revelatory.
For those of you who know me you know I go back and forth, and round and round with rules of behavior around dieting and exercising. It is a lifelong pattern. It is completely and utterly insane, all in attempt to weigh a self-imposed number on a scale: 135, which is 30 pounds less than I am now.
But for those of you who know me, I can’t stick with a diet. Not to save my life. One week I am vegan, the next week I am eating cookies, the next week I try raw foods, the next week I am eating cheese.
So to back up this story briefly, I got a gym membership for Christmas. The first three weeks, I resisted like crazy. I went 1-2 times/per week (5 times in 3 weeks to be exact) and dreaded every second. I hated it. I kept thinking I should go more, and that maybe if I could lose 10 pounds then exercising would suddenly become fun.
Ha. Not.
Running (eh hem, walking) on a stationary machine (with 4 tvs blaring in front of me with commercials, soap operas, court television and Dr. Phil) is not my idea of fun.
So last week my friend Marielle asked me to go the gym, but to the pool, sauna, steam room and hot tub. I WAS IN HEAVEN. Oh my God. I can’t believe this is my gym!! I am the luckiest girl alive. It never entered my mind that a gym could be a fun place to go. For me, always, the gym experience equals a prison sentence.
So we were in the sauna, and it’s like being in a DAY SPA.
Then we spent 45 minutes in the pool doing laps (it’s the largest pool I’ve ever seen in my life, almost 10 feet deep at the deep end), then the hot tub, steam room, and more sauna.
I never felt so good in my entire life.
So I went to the “gym” every day last week, totally loving every minute of it.
I’m being nice to myself. I’m having fun … and I’m glowing.
So a few nights ago, a new energy hit me sideways. I suddenly felt an urge to MOVE like a little kid. So I spent two hours jumping around my room, dancing to Gloria Estefan and songs from the 80’s. What is amazing is that a 5-minute dance song can leave you breathless, with your heart pumping like crazy.
More exercise than any 30 minutes I’ve ever spent walking on a treadmill.
I love dancing. Last year my friend Marielle and I decided to do a dance routine – Hot Honey Rag from the movie Chicago – and it took us six weeks to perfect a 4 minute dance routine. I loved those six weeks. All we did was laugh and have fun and sweat like crazy.
So this whole week, I’ve been playing like a kid. I’ve been doing what I love. I’ve been laughing.
Then the other night I found our next dance routine – The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders dancing to Gloria Estefan – and it’s going to require us to buy pompoms.
Ha. I’m psyched. I definitely want those white boots. Turn it up, turn it up, turn it upside down. I love to hear percussion.
There’s a dance room at the gym we can use, with mirrors on one whole wall.
So for this whole week I’ve forgotten entirely about food rules and dieting because I’ve been having so much fun playing.
And then yesterday in bible, it hit me: Jesus says be a child.
Little kids do not restrict themselves with stupid adult rules. They don’t drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. They tear around the front lawn like it’s the best activity in the world, and then beg to stay outside after it’s dark so they can play some more. They don’t worry about money. They don’t put themselves on a diet. They eat what they like, and stop halfway through so they can go back outside and play.
Totally boundless energy … that’s what I am and that’s what I want.
I’m asked to let go of all my ideas, so that something new can be revealed to me. The beauty of the workbook lessons is that they WORK.
Today’s lesson is a continuation of yesterday’s lesson:
ABOVE ALL ELSE I WANT TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
All this means is let go of all your preconceived ideas, stand still, pause, stop, observe, and say “Above all else I want to see things differently.” This simple practice will allow a new vision to come to you.
Just practice.
I love you.
“135, which is 30 pounds less than I am now.” Speaking of persective, I would be ecstatic to weight 165. (I am 213.) And I know there is someone out there who can’t even walk who wishes they were 213.
Hi, I am thinking..oh-oh about my recent trip to Vancouver, and something inside me changed and I started to say” morning” to every person I passed. And all the stories about .. city people and ethnic people don’t want to be close, all fell away when I was willling to make a connection with them. So on my way to Starbucks, a sad face would smile and respond ” morning” , so would a head looking down, it would suddenly pop up and smile and say ” morning ” , some mumbled ” morning” and the funny thing was I felt different, better, happier. So for 4 days the city became a very friendly place for me…what is missing is up to me to add it or give it or put in… its UP TO Me…. wow So today ‘ above all else….above all the old ideas of the world… I want to see differently. yes this is sure true for me, wow wouldn’t that be great, I am so looking forward to be shown that I have been wrong about every thing.. a liar from the beginning..there is a real healing, O I love to be wrong now…. wow.
Love Jayme
It is me again. Hi, I cannot not write,, this is so exciting..
I am listening to Lisa’s talk on Chapter 1, we are on page 4. Something in my mind during this talk is showing me something new…I had this happen today.
Here I am shown that I have been plagued with nightmares for years, sometimes being in the middle of a war Zone with no escape, what ever the situation.. wow now I see , that no solution in the world has ever worked, they always fail. I can’t find a phone, Or I can’t remember names or numbers for someone to rescue me, I am always lost in some location that is unknown to me, there is conflict all around me, fighting, bullets flying, noone to trust, even a simple thing like using a toilet is horrendous, they are always filthy beyond belief, I am trapped and always frightened.. terrified. Lonely,raging, confused, and tonight I see the solution to the dream is to ….WAKE UP! AND IT IS OVER. wow thankyou God, my nightmares mirrored my daily nightmare…. but the solution is just the same WAKE UP AND IT WILL ALL BE OVER. ha , I love it…
Thankyou God, thankyou Lisa, what a trip..
Love Jayme