Congratulations! We’ve gone one month.
One thing you can be sure of with me … I’ll never water down the message.
You might not be grateful now and you might even be very skeptical of these lessons, but someday – hopefully – you will see how much faster and simpler this Course is when you don’t wrap the message in bubble foam to cushion the blow of learning there is nothing outside of you.
I believe in A Course in Miracles 100% because I’ve seen it work miracles in my own life. I do not try to delete or alter sentences so they fit within a belief system that works for me. I take the whole message, in its entirety, word for word. I follow instructions. I don’t make exceptions nor bend the rules to my liking. I do not choose the sentences that make me feel all warm and fuzzy and happy, and throw the rest out the window because they are too shocking or dark.
I follow Jesus: one day at a time, one lesson at a time, one step at a time.
A Course in Miracles says this world is a “slaughterhouse.”
Some of these lessons in here are downright painful. It’s painful to hear you are a murderer, even though in your heart you know it’s true.
You have killed your brother, many times on many occasions, and you know it’s true.
How do I know this? Because I’ve done it. I’ve gotten away with murder. All the gossiping, the lies, the horrible things I’ve said to people’s faces and behind their backs.
It’s called “back-stabbing” for a reason. It’s murder.
You’ve done everything in your life to be accepted and likable. You’ve done everything possible to hide your dark treacherous thoughts, and to keep them hidden. You’ve followed the rules, paid your bills, voted like a good citizen, been a loyal friend, a faithful wife or husband. You try to be on time, you’re patient (mostly), you do your best to be honest, and on most occasions you feel like you’ve done a good job at being a good person.
Along comes A Course in Miracles and says some very shocking things. Statements that will leave you appalled, pissed off, angry, and in many cases will cause you to slam the book, and probably take me off your Favorites list.
I’ve been there. I’ve destroyed 3 course books in my lifetime, ripped them to shreds. I’ve broken glassware on the kitchen floor in a fit of rage and I overturned a Queen size bed at 2am in the morning, and destroyed the sheets. Wailing out at God, at Jesus, at myself, at the universe. I’ve punched a wall. I’ve sobbed, screamed, howled, and cursed.
So there you go.
I’m not saying it’ll be like this for you – I pray it will be smooth sailing – but if your whole world start to turn upside down, just hang in there.
I’ve been there. What I’ve learned is that it doesn’t do any good to quit, because A Course in Miracles is “a required course” and you’ll have to come back to it eventually.
Eventually you are going to have to forgive your neighbor and love your enemy.
In the Teachers Manual, in the section under Trust, it lists all the stages you’ll go through – 6 stages – and they all kinda suck. Except for one period of “settling down” (4th stage) and the final stage “a period of achievement.”
But for the rest, well, it’s a bit of a bumpy ride.
One thing I know for sure: after the darkness is pure sunlight. After the storm is an everlasting calm.
In the beginning, it can be a little topsy-turvy and you may feel like you’re losing your balance. It might appear like your life is falling apart as you stop trying to control things.
Just trust. Keep going.
I suggest you read The Teachers Manual, especially “What Are the Characteristics of God’s Teachers”
You need to build a foundation of TRUST under you, and it’s good to start building that foundation now.
Everyone feels all happy and optimistic in the first week – like being on a honeymoon — feeling the bliss of anticipation of miracles, but then we start to wade in the muck and immediately all sorts of raw emotions start bubbling to the surface.
It can take the form of feeling absolutely pissed off, like you’ve been tricked.
You might also feel a deep sense of frustration & futility because you know you can’t go back to being oblivious. It’s like you don’t want to go ahead, but you can’t go back either and you’re standing in a place where you’re literally stuck. You can’t go forward and you can’t go back.
You’ll think: “I just wanted to be happy” and “I didn’t ask for this.”
Well, we’re gonna get to the treasure … but first we have to go through the fear and rage.
First you have to take off the rose-colored blinders and really see what is around you, REALLY SEE IT.
To stop being blind.
To stop saying the world is a nice place, because it’s not a nice place.
It is a place of appalling violence, loneliness, sickness and sadness.
Yes. Yes. I know. You’ve had moment of joy and happiness. I know. That’s Heaven. Literally. You’ve been in Heaven.
The aim of this journey is to reside in Heaven all the time. To leave the world of chaos behind and live in a place where there is only love. This is not a fantasy. This is an experience that I want you to see for yourself.
If you have A Course in Miracles and you’ve gotten this far though the lessons – on the 32nd day – then you should be feeling SOMETHING.
Either you are really pissed off, or confused, or excited or really scared. I have no idea how it is for anyone. But if you are doing the lessons, then SOMETHING is stirring in you. You might be thinking “Who the hell does she think she is?” or you might be feeling terrifically grateful, or you might be terrified.
All I can ask is PLEASE do not stay in a scared place, alone, when all is dark. Email me. I’m here to help.
lisanatoli2@gmail.com
Just let me know what is going on with you. You can write me your stories. You don’t have to monitor yourself. You don’t have to edit your writing so that you come off sounding spiritual.
Just be yourself, and write to me if you have a question. You’re not alone.
It gets good, trust me.
Let yourself fall apart. Let yourself cry like a baby. Let yourself feel terror.
Most people have kept these emotions buried for so long that when they finally come to the surface, they want to run far, far away.
Just trust me. Keep going. It gets really good.
I love you.
lisa
Facebook comments:
That’s just so great. So true and so great. Thank you Lisa.
hey lisa,
thank you very much.
lee
BILL THETFORD AND A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Bill was in and ACIM meeting where the were arguing over what a certain passage REALLY meant. They turned to Bill and asked him his opinion, seeing that he was the one with the most experience with the material, at the time. Bill explained that he would rather see the page torn out of the book than have Brother’s arguing about anything. THAT is A Course in Miracles. So if my Brother says the most spiritual way to grasp the Course is to stand face north while eating wild blue berries in the morning. To that i say “thank you very much!”
“The only proper response to a Brother is appreciation.” ACIM
Thank You!
LISA.
I’ll not elaborate on how I arrived here. But it was divinely led. I noticed two concepts in your entries that have resonated in my own heart and writings over the last 2 years .
One: Inversion… Jesus came to “right” the world in both senses.
The other I saw above “Slaughterhouse”… here’s why it grabbed me (share my goosebumps): http://togetheroneservant.blogspot.com/2007/01/theological-slaughterhouses.html
Blessings,
propheT
It is day 30 and I have had times where I couldn’t stand the pain or the tears or the lonliness or the fear, and as it when on and on.. I heard’ you are not falling apart… you are falling together..Wow that did not make the experience less, it gaveit a purpose. I wasn’t being punished. I am being given life. I have also been at the place of so much fear that I only ran, gave up the Course, only to find me back again. I know the carpet behind me is rolled up, there is no going back..I believe that.So now I have Lisa to help me to not choose death again… thankyou, love Jayme
That says exactly what I’m experiencing right now – I’ve been on day 106 for ages and can’t/won’t move past it. Nothing seems to work anymore other than just, just getting by. Everyday I think, surely I can make something happen, make things better, work harder, do something, clear up, tidy up, get things in order, … and each day I just get by and doing nothing to ‘move things on’. Well, if that’s how it is then that’s how it is. I already know/knew what you say is right, but it’s so good to hear someone else saying it. Thank you so much x