Lately, I am unable to function in life. Everything is meaningless.
Writing is the only thing that makes me truly happy. Everything else feels like a dead-end street. I don’t see the point of doing anything anymore.
All I want to do is read and write.
It’s a wild condition to find myself in – I wish I could describe it. On the one hand I see everything clearly. There’s a clarity that makes me see events, situations and people in a perfect light. On the other hand the world is a haze leaving me completely unable to function in day-to-day life. I fear this is what mental breakdown looks like. And yet, I don’t feel like holding myself together anymore. I feel like letting myself go as far as I can go.
It’s not depression. And it’s not darkness. I feel fine except that I have no energy to plan, strive or do things. I’m not a threat to myself or anyone else, and yet this THING is happening to me. I don’t know what to call it.
It does frighten me a little, and yet thrills me at the same time.
It’s a strange experience. It feels like isolation and stagnation, while at the same time a great sense of solitude, quietness and great inner exploration.
Ultimately, I’m only happy when I’m writing, reading or helping someone.
Those are the three things I can do well, which give me joy and peace. Everything else feels utterly meaningless.
Facebook comments:
I am feeling you…I too don’t feel depressed but can’t put my finger on it. I am letting “it” happen, no matter what that looks like because ultimately “it” is about something bigger. What I don’t know, LOL.
In my experience, striving is a horrible state to be in. I refuse to strive, it depresses me to no end, makes me feel old and without energy.
The scary part for me is that it is so absolutely against what the world is set up to do — strive, strive strive. Everyone on the bus seems to be striving, everyone off the bus seems to be striving. It’s all about striving. UGH.
So to me your dream spoke to me in that in a very obvious way, you are not part of this ordinary world anymore.
I think it’s great to have the energy to create instead of strive.
Like Jodi says, I’m feeling you, too.
Lori
Lisa, you ARE doing something significant with this blog. It has given me tremendous courage and light and is helping me tremendously.
Lori
Lisa, when i have had feelings similar to what you are going through, it’s because a change is coming. Let go. It’s perfect. Just doesn’t seem like it at the time. You are ascending. Your posts have always been excellent, but now they are out of this world. You absolutely ROCK. By the way, I love you!!!
Lisa,
Another great site that looks at what the universe is going through is What’s Up on Planet Earth — http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com If you subscribe to her Energy Updates, you will read them and feel very validated!
Lots of love and light. You are not alone….
Susannah
That’s http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com
Hey Lisa,
I agree with what the others are saying … truth be known, you’re most likely in a really good place right now … I’m experiencing this state too and feel the same way about it as you … it’s not depression, not darkness, yet not what I’m accustomed too. Anyway, all that planning, striving and doing things is just keeping our minds off our true search for happiness in God.
Think of it this way … you’re shaving off the need for time by thousands of years and helping others shave thousands of years off too by your reading, writing, and sharing. I can’t think of anything you could do that would be better use of time.
DESCENT OR ASCENT…. I CAN’T TELL.
LOL!!!!! Just this morning, I thought, I don’t know what’s happened here. Am I doing good or am I missing something? Am I just supposed to BE or am I supposed to be striving towards something? Should I be caring more about my job, my paycheck and the lessons that I am learning at my job? I thought, maybe if I email Lisa and ask her, she might have some insight. Then *poof* (as usual), there Lisa is…. on my same wavelength, with my answer!
I then read in the Mastery that THAT is indeed our lesson. Learn to not judge what you “should be doing or feeling” or wonder why you aren’t doing things the way you always have, that is the lesson. To know that we need do nothing. The falling away of the old ways and habits and mind sets. This is part of the process. When we can fully come into the fact that nothing is important in this illusionary world and it’s okay to realize this and live it….. that’s when we’re there. (besides of course, love and the extension of that love to others) The struggle with this is the lesson to master. I think?
I thank God with all my heart that you can write, because you are truly inspirational.
Love, Pam
Lisa, how do we love thee, let me count the ways…
Wow look at this!!!!!!!!! All my brothers who are one with me , we all flew into the Light today. Wasn’t it a trip without distance or time, wasn’t it totally what we never expected. A journey without distance. There is nothing going on here, nothing is happening, only the love of God is seen as the ONE THING. We are not guilty of anything. How did I get here? Was it somewhere between Lisa’s Chapter 5 text class last night or is it my lesson today or the blog post. It’s an undoing of what never was… oh my God!
It never happened, it is only a dream. OMG!
God is my refuge and my security
Let me perceive no differences today.
My holy vision sees all things as pure.
It is the undoing of special relationships.
All relationships are holy.
As I stood in these final moments in the fear of UNDOING, ALL THINGS ARE MADE HOLY.
WOW.
This is an undoing… I just keep doing the lessons everyday and stay in God contact and my mind is changed.
Tonight in an Instant.
It’s an undoing.
I decided wrongly and now I get to decide for truth.
It was all a lie.
OMG.
I love you guys, thanks for everything. wow.
love j
agreeing with all of you guys…
repeating an “old friend” of mine
“it can not be always a nine
some days just get a a five
that is what we call life….”
… and that still is my judgement about how i feel
and by the way is it not so that in some countries appreciations are given the other way around? a nine is terrible and a five is already better
hahaha, things are never what they look like
anyway …dont’look for the truth
just let opinions go
love you
Lisa, I feel you are at the threshold of a quantum leap….something great is happening to you, I am sure…..
You have clarity, but you don’t have energy…..our body functions do not usually follow our speed…remember? You are the one who said that….
I am praying for you and I trust everything that is happening to you is for good..
Love, from Greece