I love You, Father, and I love Your Son.
Yesterday’s lesson was: Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness.
Today’s lesson is: Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude.
For most of you, it’s probably evident that I had a fairly difficult summer. As you probably have already learned, I am pretty good at keeping up appearances no matter how the black the hole gets. But underneath was a current of disappointment, frustration and let me admit it … despair that I was losing my faith.
I was in survival mode – just scraping by.
Last night I realized – looking back in hindsight over the summer – that I allowed myself to STOP CARING. I allowed myself to slide down, inch by inch … down, down, down.
But last night I realized, well, if I am able to STOP CARING then, well, I am able to START CARING!!
If I am able to BECOME depressed then it must also be possible for me to become NOT depressed!
Quite a revelation!!
And the gates to Heaven opened!
I was thinking about my cat Sam, who is still missing. I think about him every single day. I keep wishing he would return. I get the sense that wherever he is – dead or alive – he is fine. He’s not GREAT, but he’s fine. And then I realized that Sam was offering my a good lesson: that in the same way I want him to come home to me … COME HOME SAME – my Father wants me to come home to Him. COME HOME LISA. I realized that I have been getting along fine. Not great, but fine. Surviving. And all the while, my Father in Heaven has been wanting me to come home.
It made me cry … tears of joy.
From A Course in Miracles, Chapter 5, Section 8:
God in his knowledge is not waiting. But his Kingdom IS bereft while YOU wait. All the Sons of God are waiting for your return, just as YOU wait for theirs. Delay does not matter in eternity, but it is tragic in time. You have elected to be in time rather than in eternity, and therefore have changed your belief in your status. You do not belong in time. Your place is ONLY in eternity, where God Himself placed you forever.
Amazing, huh? I’m waiting for Sam to come home, which is just an extreme example of the universe waiting for me to come home. Except – here’s the interesting thing – the universe is NOT waiting, but it’s ME that’s waiting. It’s me who’s delaying. I’m like my cat Sam who is just out there wandering, somewhere, while I pray for his return to come home.
Home is always where it always was. Heaven never left. My home remains exactly as it always was, and my Creator longs for my return. He didn’t move … I did.
I love You, Father, and I love Your Son.
“My gratitude permits my love to be accepted without fear. And thus am I restored to my Reality at last.”
At last!
Thanks for standing with me this summer. Thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for not leaving me, while I wandered off on “thorny byways.”
Thank God and Thank you that every moment offers me another opportunity to choose again.
I had a summer of not caring for myself, and not really caring for anyone else either. I let a lot of things fall apart. I gained weight. And the scary thing is when you can actually see the downward slide – you can see yourself gaining weight or you can see things falling apart – and that makes you go deeper into oblivion.
Thankfully, every day is a new beginning to choose again. I stopped caring which means I can start caring.
Last night at 11:00pm, my faith was restored again and all my doubts vanished.
Father, I come to you today, because I would not follow any way but Yours. You are beside me. Certain is Your way. And I am grateful for Your holy gifts of certain sanctuary, and escape from everything that would obscure my love for God my Father and His holy Son.
I love you, my friend.
Facebook comments:
We all walk Hand in Hand,
We all walk Side by Side
which is why Lisa not one of us EVER left you.
jyl