“Denial of Self results in illusions.” – A Course in Miracles, Chapter 1
I love it.
I am coming back to myself now.
I spent years making myself small and little.
As a child, I was bright, graceful, happy, passionate, enthusiastic and creative.
I was a dancer, a gymnast, an artist and a writer.
Everything I did, I did exceptionally well.
I was an A+ 5-Star gold student.
Then something happened around the time I was 10 years old. I started caring what other people thought of me. I started getting the message that it wasn’t good to be perfect. I started to learn that it wasn’t normal to be happy all the time. Fear started creeping in. I got the message that it wasn’t good to be bright. I got the message it was better to blend in and be mediocre. SO I HID MY LIGHT. I was acutely aware that I was doing this. In every job, in every relationship and in my marriage, I did my best to not cause waves – I was quiet, reserved and shy – which was a huge act. I should have won an Academy Award for best acting!
I never started off this way – in the beginning of every relationship and new job I was all passion and energy and joy – I couldn’t help myself – it’s impossible to hold the Christ back when He wants to shine through – and people fell in love with it, but after a while I got the message that my enthusiasm was “too much”.
So I adjusted.
I toned it down. I denied my Self, and this led straight to illusions – conflict, confusion, depression, sadness, problems, worry, and sickness.
A Course in Miracles says “sin is adjustment” and that’s just amazing to me.
SIN IS ADJUSTMENT.
You adjust to the illusion. It’s what I did – I adjusted myself to everything and everyone around me. And honestly, I became an expert in becoming a chameleon!! I could blend in anywhere! I learned to study other people and then adjust and adapt to them. If someone was unhappy, I would adjust so that I could be with them. If someone was upset, I could easily drop down to their level and join in their suffering. It seemed better than being alone. What insanity!!
And along comes A Course in Miracles and says: STAND IN THE LIGHT. STAND WITH JESUS. DO … NOT … ADJUST. Unchain all your brothers, let go of all your ideas, let the past go, and stand here in this new glorious moment in which the Christ in you is re-born into this world!
Ha! I get happier and happier by the minute.
It can be a scary thing to stand in the frequency of joy and shine your light because you WILL lose all the situations that were causing you conflict. You will. Those dark associations will either transform and join you in the new space OR they will disappear altogether. Either way, the conflict is gone. Your whole life will change. Jesus makes all things new.
It does require courage because He will disrupt your life, but wow, is it worth it!!
I have a new commitment – to not deny my Self anymore. I AM mySELF – healed and whole and perfect, shining in reflection of God’s Love. Feels good to be back.
Facebook comments:
Wow! This is where I am today. It is so great to hear the truth. I used to pray “God help me I need a miracle!” Now I pray “God help me I am a miracle!”
Thanks for your love and light Lisa. You have helped me see through the veil.
Thank you Jesus!