Thanks for all the good thoughts and energy. Two things really came up as I was reading this.

Do what’s in front of you – is most often the BLOCK or delaying mechanism or avoidance technique for opening my life into the unknown or making progress towards bringing forth a vision I’ve been given. There are endless relatively meaningless things right before me all the time that have nothing to do with manifesting the vision/goal. If I just do what’s obviously in my face to do I go nowhere, I can sweep the floor and clean the house and take care of ………..responsibilities endlessly and NOTHING is brought forth of the inner vision. I find that my challenge has been in being true to what’s INSIDE and DOING what brings that into my “life”. It’s creating something from the invisible rather than responding to whatever shows up. For me that is where I experience my greatest resistance/block. It’s so much easier, safer and more obvious to just be here now and address whatever in my face – take the path of least resistance.

That leads to the other thing. Often it has seemed to me the raging river comes to sweep me OFF the path TOWARD my goals and in the other direction – back into the same old familiar dead patterns, habits etc……. It’s actually in somehow resolving NOT to get swept off course by the raging river that DOES NOT WANT PROGRESS, FREEDOM, BRAND NEW OPENESS(receptivity to grace), JOY, LIFE, FULFILLMENT, etc……..actually I experience this more like a tidal wave than a river of opposition, seemingly impossible to stay conscious and resist, ( ALL addiction is surrender/allowing oneself to go with that force ), so for me the idea of allowing oneself to just get in the river and go where it’s going doesn’t work towards getting me to where I really want. For almost everyone it’s going to be the river of programmed consciousness/ ego desire, beliefs etc….

The only way I know how to come closer to what I really want is actually in my willingness to practice inner silence along with the willingness to hold my mind open, not full of ideas about anything including what I think I should be doing. I hear over and over inside ” in returning and rest ye shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be thy strength”.

Part of the challenge when someone is called to awaken is that all doing/ goals of this world, of worldly accomplishment become truly, entirely meaningless, without value. You just can feel how there’s no point there’s REALLY nothing real to do here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there is a period perhaps of retreat, of dropping out, disconnecting from the “world” and all it’s trappings, mazes, ego adventures. “No longer riding on the merry go round…..I just had to let it goooooo” – John Lennon. And then the only thing that makes it all well is the full, real, experience/ knowledge of truth, identity, God, eternal life and probably you will be “here” still and then it’s just intuitive now what to do all the time not predetermined anything. For me it isn’t a sudden total constant “shazzam” total, permanent zen awakening but a process of enlightenment, more and more light, gradually stabilizing like keeping my head above water, I find myself drowning in illusion less and less, THANK GOD, I LOVE peace and clarity and LOVE and yet the dream and the idea I have to do something here is very persistent and doesn’t just quit as I’m sure you know. Maybe/probably we all do have a perfect role to fulfill that the whole process of us all healing depends on. I believe the Course. It is the one and ONLY thing I reocognize as authority (other than my own deepest sense of things – the same voice speaks on the inside too!!!! That’s the way I like it best and Ha Ha that’s what I avoid the most!!!) There’s the biggest mystery of all. Why would I know that PERFECT KNOWLEDGE AND GUIDANCE is in me and not be turning to it continually in silence?

Anyway Lisa I’m glad you moved East. I very glad you are loving and sharing true ideas so fully, it is really beautiful, thank you for loving truth and love this much. Yaay!!! I’m just grateful I’ve accumulated enough strength of awareness to see the whole opposition at work in my thought/ behavior etc…… to see it! and know it for what it is. We call it devil, mortal mind, the ego whatever, something apart, something that doesn’t know, something not complete, flawed somehow and on and on a whole spectrum of possibilities, infinite images I mistake for I reflecting the possibility of God and ……something ELSE. And I say now it (Salvation, Unity, Heaven, True Being,) is CERTAIN because it ( Separation from God/ Love/ Life my own Self!) is IMPOSSIBLE. And I watch the assertion of something ELSE and determinedly repeat the Light HAS come, I will forgive and this will disappear. Nothing else makes sense at this point. Except giving more devotion, attention, priority to receiving God’s Word and loving.

When are you coming to visit NY? I think Axel will be here for a little while in August.

I Love you,
Kim.